On October 11, 2022, Cristian passed away after a long battle with his alcohol addiction. He was ill, worried about losing his job, overwhelmed by a demanding boss and lonely. He was only 47 years old. He left behind a 12-year-old daughter who asks me every day: “Why, mom? “
His experience made me realize how little we know about mental health. Over the last ten years, I have been studying this topic intensively, reading studies and networking with people who are passionate about advancing mental health.
I invite you to reflect on the realities of mental illness and how society and the insurance industry can help those affected. I also encourage you to start with yourself, to ask for help when you need it and to raise awareness about mental health.
The beginning of the end
“I think I’m addicted to alcohol,” he said in 2013, but I denied it. He was highly educated and had a great passion for the automotive industry. He loved his family. He was balanced and positive. He had everything he wanted.
How wrong I was! I blamed, judged, suffered and hoped. Step by step, I learned alongside him how monstrous this disease is.
His life became a rollercoaster ride, alternating between rehabilitation clinics, glimmers of hope, relapses and despair. He went to hospital a dozen times, underwent long-term treatment twice and tried several therapies. Towards the end, he told me: “I’ve been drinking since I was a teenager, there’s no way back for me.”
I still wonder if there was anything else I could have done to save him. Close relatives tried desperately to find a way to help, but to no avail. The more we tried, the more he withdrew and isolated himself.
Mental illness is not a choice
A glass of wine at a party is a choice. Addiction is not. It is a beast that takes away your balance, your joy and ultimately your life. It does not discriminate. It affects CEOs and their assistants, housewives, children and grandparents. It destroys the lives of PhDs as well as illiterate people.
How does the system support people with mental illness?
“What should I do after rehab?” Cristian asked me this question, and it still haunts me to this day. He went to long-term rehabilitation twice, received psychological support and medication. But as soon as he was discharged, his problems were the same. He felt lonely and still didn’t have a job.
The reality is that recovery does not end when someone leaves a psychiatric clinic or rehab. For many, it’s just the beginning of the difficult journey. People are thrown back into the same environment they struggled in before-with the same stressors, triggers and lack of support. They are often unemployed, financially unstable and emotionally fragile. And yet society expects them to simply “stay clean”.
But recovery does not happen in isolation. The World Health Organization (WHO) is a strong advocate for community support-andfor good reason: people who are suffering need communities to make progress. Society as a whole has a responsibility to care for those who suffer. Here are some aspects I’ve been thinking about. Here’s what we can do:
- Creating pathways to employment: A stable job gives people in recovery a sense of purpose, routine and financial independence. We need more employers who are willing to give a second chance, because returning to work is crucial for long-term recovery.
- Ongoing mental health support: rehab is just the beginning. People need access to therapy, counseling and peer support long after they leave the facility. Mental health is a lifelong journey that requires ongoing care, not short-term solutions.
- Build a stronger community: People in recovery need support systems-friends, family and community programs that provide encouragement and accountability. By creating more inclusive, understanding communities, we can reduce the risk of relapse.
- Tackling the causes: Many turn to addictive substances to deal with underlying issues such as trauma, violence or poverty. Until we address these issues directly, rehab alone will not be enough to break the cycle.
Recovery isn’t just about getting clean. It’s about rebuilding a life-and that takes more than just a few weeks in rehab. It takes the ongoing support of all of us.
How can the insurance company help?
Mental health crises often build up over time, but insurance usually intervenes too late, focusing on treatment rather than prevention. Dare I ask: how often have you felt abandoned, isolated or overwhelmed?
Our industry can do more. Here’s what I think insurance companies need to change if we really want to support mental health:
- Include mental health in primary care: Every time I go to my GP, I get blood tests and questions about my lifestyle. Never about my mental health. The WHO recommends integrating mental health into primary care. This is only possible with the support of insurance companies.
- Treat mental health care like any other medical treatment: Therapy, medication and inpatient care should be fully covered. People should never have to choose between help and debt.
- Preventative mental health care: Insurance companies need to invest in prevention, cover regular mental health checks, early detection programs and pre-crisis support. Technology offers cost-effective solutions. For example, did you know that some platforms can detect early signs of mental illness using voice, fine motor skills or facial micro-expressions? Why not integrate these into health insurance apps via APIs?
- Support for families: Living with an addicted person is challenging, to say the least. You can’t rely on them and sometimes their actions are a burden. The emotional strain on partners, parents and children is enormous. Mental illness affects the whole family, yet most policies do not cover family therapy or support for caregivers. Insurance companies should provide resources to help families instead of leaving them overwhelmed and without support.
- Simplified access to care: Mental health crises don’t wait for authorizations or paperwork. Insurance companies need to cut the red tape: no delays or limited provider networks. People need quick, direct access to mental health professionals when they need it most. If that’s a remote care provider overseas, let them get help.
- Flexible treatment options: Every path to recovery is different. Insurance should cover a variety of treatment options, from therapy and medication to alternative treatments. People need personalized care, not standard solutions.
- Working with other institutions to raise awareness: I was in denial that my husband had a problem. Not because I didn’t care, but because I was completely uninformed about addiction or other mental illnesses. We still judge and accuse people of “making the wrong choices” even though science proves that addiction is a complex, difficult-to-treat disease. Insurers should partner with nonprofit organizations that raise awareness about mental health.
Insurance has the power to be a catalyst for change. They can bring hope and healing to millions of lives affected by mental illness and addiction. When we truly care for the most vulnerable, we build a better, stronger society for all.
How do you move on after losing someone you love?
I wish I had a perfect answer. I don’t have it.
Cristian’s parents joined support groups to talk to other people who have had similar experiences. Together, we decided to share his story to raise awareness and break the stigma around mental illness and addiction.
My parents organize religious ceremonies for his soul. They pray and cook, go to church and light candles in his memory. I believe these prayers are for the souls of those left behind.
Most of our daughter’s classmates don’t know that she no longer has a father. She has buried the pain deep down, along with the memories of her vacations by the sea. She asked me to spend a few days at the seaside this summer. I watched her for a long time as she stared at the waves without saying a word.
I’m tough, but his loss has changed me more than I expected. I focus on doing things I believe in and fulfilling my purpose. I speak out against the stigma that surrounds mental health in a society that labels addicts, depressives or anxiety sufferers as “weak”.
This year I founded Mind Healing with a few passionate people. It’s a mental health organization dedicated to fostering partnerships and supporting child and adolescent health. If Cristian or his parents had known how it would end, they would have made different choices. Millions of young people and their families are still uninformed about mental health and we are determined to change that.
Sometimes I am overcome with emotion when I see a firefly and think of what he used to call me. I find comfort in the knowledge that pain is just another form of love.
Mirela Dimofte
Read and watch also: Video #4: Florence von Gunten, psychologist
